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Power of Eulogy

The power of a eulogy can not just move an audience to tears but can also help them to cope with their loss. It can help us to get things into perspective and to understand that we cope with loss by not forgetting the person who has been taken from us, but by finding out how we can best live with our memories of them.

Writing a eulogy is probably one of the hardest and saddest things you will have to do and it can leave you feeling emotionally drained. On top of all the grief that you are suffering, you find yourself having to deal with the nerves and fear of standing up at the service in front of mourners and worry that you may dry up under the pressure.

To help you, Chelmsford Star Co-operative Funeral Services has put together the following guidelines on how to write a eulogy together with some useful tips.

Take time to prepare the eulogy

Before you start to write a eulogy, take time to sit quietly or go for a peaceful walk by yourself, relax and think about what you want to say. To help guide you, there are a number of themes that come across in many funeral speeches such as:

  • Life History - this is a short summary of someone’s life. These speeches are often captivating as they reveal a side of the deceased that was not always known to others.
  • Memories - this is a personal insight not only into the life of the deceased, but of memories that you shared with them. These are often very touching and are one of the easiest things to talk about.

 

  • Poem or Reading - choose to read a favourite poem or reading as this is often a good way to express how you feel.
  • Tribute - share with others the highlights or achievements of the deceased’s life. A common form of tribute is often the Obituary placed in national or local newspapers.
  • Legacy - this focuses on their achievements and what they have left after them; this could be their children, changed lives, projects, and even awards.

To keep the impact of a speech, keep it short. Three or five minutes will be enough time to say what you want and cover the above five themes. Write your speech down and rehearse it out loud at least four times. Take the opportunity to read it out loud at least once to another family member of friend; this will certainly help you with the timing of your speech.

Remember to focus on the life of the deceased and not on their death. It is so easy when you have been through a bereavement to focus on the death and in particular, the dieing process. Focus your tribute on the better times, on the happy memories and share these with others.

A funeral is a very emotional time and the chance is that you may get emotional. Don’t worry, this is absolutely normal. It is advisable to give a copy of your speech to a family member, friend or officiate so that in the event that you become overwhelmed by emotion, they will be able to step in a read the eulogy for you.

Chelmsford Star Co-operative Funeral Services funerals@chelmsfordstar.coop